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Mind or Heart ?

Funny how things change isn’t it; remember when we were growing up and everyone was all about thinking; use your brain, think it through, be logical, make a sensible decision etc!!

There is now a spiritual understanding that we get to live more fully, more in touch with our real selves, if we learn to live through our hearts. Engaging in how something feels and resonates rather than intellectually dissecting it and making lists of pros and cons… - jeeze even typing that makes me feel anxious… those lists have been such a curse to me…I mean I can always see SO many sides to an issue ... how the heck do I ever manage to make a clear decision that aligns with me and my higher self/purpose?

Yup, you guessed it; I have often made terrible decisions. Based on that list of pro’s and con’s ... most of which aren’t really even mine… Should I leave him??.. But my kids will come from a broken home... SO?! Better that than a desperately unhappy one right?? Oh but what about “together forever”… seriously? ... Keeping that promise and put up with abusive behaviour!? Not happening.

I’m sure some of you will understand that mad jumble of thoughts that confuse and infuriate you... on and on and, round and round the thought process; the if’s, buts and maybe’s, but very little clarity.

When I stop though, and go quickly to my heart centre and ask again I usually get a pretty prompt indication… not always, but generally, and if not; I sit with it or sleep on it and let the feelings unfold. Granted my inner 50’s housewife, aka out dated belief system sometimes comes to the forefront… luckily I’ve learnt her ways and keep her happy with the odd bout of baking.

Keeping your attention on where in your body you exist from is a good way of learning to shift your awareness and your energy to your heart centre... When I manage it regularly I feel more peaceful, less reactive and definitely more grounded. If you know you are all up in your mind and haranguing the hell out of your life just place your hand on your heart and breathe, and feel the reassurance of that connection to self/source. Do this often, till you start to naturally get more comfortable having your awareness with your heart.

So no more “sensible decisions” for me (cue my father rolling his eyes and asking if I have ever actually made any!!!) but rather, heart felt ones that help me stay on track with MY life.

Feel your Feelings

Your emotional vibration is the key to your alignment with your inner self, your inner guidance. The resonance or dissonance of how you feel is guiding you; to ‘go that way’ or ‘no not there’… When you have an experience you can feel either the ease and good feeling of it or the opposite; the harmony of hanging out with certain people or doing certain things and the disharmony when it is making you feel uncomfortable or unhappy. So this emotional vibration is what you are beaming out to the world… the dull heaviness of sadness or longing or the light ease of happiness and joy.

Wanting, needing, desiring… you have these thoughts to help you understand where you want to be, but if you stay there wanting and needing, that becomes the ‘set of your dial’ so to speak... it becomes what is ... you stay in a constant state of wanting, and needing, and that will then be what you consistently receive… wanting not getting.

We have such a hard time trusting that what we want will come, that what we want is possible. Surely it can’t be that easy? To desire and then just trust the instincts that arise for us to follow... but it is. Our attachment to struggle is what holds us back, holds us in a place of yearning and wishing.

So Trust your feelings, notice them and how they internally make you feel; yes or no… left or right… up or down, play with them and get to know them, make mistakes and start again. Know that they are reflective of the true you. Also try to remember that how your desires show up may not be as you expect or in the timing you want… but they are there waiting for you to match the vibration. And know that the falling off the good feeling bike is absolutely and totally part of the game of being human… so don’t beat yourself up, just get back on and push the peddles and keep on going.

Peace in Chaos

I don’t know about you, but the world is feeling rather mad and pretty extreme at the moment; and staying calm, at peace and aligned can definitely be more challenging. Although this feels hard and at times frustrating, we are being encouraged to strengthen our ability to connect and understand, in depth, the process of this connection or alignment (and what tips us off our path). This learning helps us observe how we respond to the fluctuations of our own lives and the mass consciousness.

 Coming to grips with the possibility that someone such as Donald Trump is potentially the next leader of one of the most powerful countries and economies in the world is surreal… suddenly it seems that lies are interchangeable with truth and no one even knows which are which, and fear and bigotry are acceptable on a world stage. I find myself asking what strange alternate reality am I in? Refugees spilling out of war torn countries, terrorist attacks that seem to come almost weekly, Britain as divided and disrupted as the US, Rio hiding the stark reality of poverty, and deprivation behind walls, whilst trying to show a ‘we’re all fantastic’ face.

Why, are there suddenly such radical extremes of shadow? Of fear? In my heart I feel that the world is in the chaos that inevitably comes before change... just like in physics… where just at the point of shift from one ‘way’ or ‘state’ to another there is indefinable chaos. When water shifts to steam, there is utter bedlam in the form of boiling… no easy, relaxed slide from still, calm water to warm, smooth steam… but instead a feisty, high energy, chaotic boiling… then smooth, warm steam.

Do remember that in our world there is also a strong global fervor for change, for compassion, peace and love… and it is showing up in many, varied and wonderful iterations: environmental groups educating and creating change worldwide; a huge surge in mindfulness and meditation- in parks, online, in schools and businesses; questioning of the status quo; engagement of faith that is self aligned instead of through indoctrinated religions, just to name a few. (It just all seems to take a back seat to the attention grabbing horror of the latest bombs or political lies and half truths in the media- both social and mainstream.)

Our desire for a better world to BE in is innate in every one of us. So focus on the good in your life and in the world, take the time to acknowledge your fears, and shine a light on them. Come back to the moment and remind yourself of the blessings you have in your life. Breathe, love yourself and hold the light. This to shall pass.

Who are you really being?

Today is a New Moon in Cancer & according to the astrologers it’s all about the opportunity to re-birth… what do you desire to feel about yourself & your life? This new moon has a strong energy to strip away, to get to the truth.

I don’t know about you but as I evolve the ‘Me’ I want is just so much more personal and individual and less collective and societal. I want who I am to reflect the values that I hold dear. But more than just the words … I need to be in touch with how I want to present and how real/actual that is.

Am I kind, loving and calm? – Some times but definitely not all the time - my kids will attest to that! When I assess those less than calm moments or unloving times I have realized that more often than not I am totally stuck in my head, fixating on what should or shouldn’t be or how people should or shouldn’t behave… ridiculous in hindsight... and controlling really. When I let go of pre-deciding how something or someone should be I have a much easier time, and life flows more easily. 

By coming back to my heart, I immediately relax and see things for what they are… just moments that I can react to or can just observe and decide if I truly need to engage with… ( * obvious disclaimer that abusive or inappropriate behavior isn’t acceptable & choices need to be made about remaining in that type of environment/situation.)

Some times what comes up in me; is that in being loving and kind and allowing things to flow I am some how being weak and/or a push over... that to be strong and independent I must be staunch and tough and have a shield around me … but what I have discovered is the shield repels good things as well as bad and isolation is the only thing that comes from those types of barriers. I am working out that being loving is in fact a true strength, and it makes me feel good!

So my suggestion is find those ways of being that rock your world, and Be them, and watch your world reflect them back to you!

Surrender

Surrender… not normally a word I have ever liked... to me it always reeked of submission, acquiescence and, well to be frank, giving up.

I have discovered that it is in fact phenomenally freeing.

Now just to clarify I don’t want to encourage a ‘giving up’ mentality, but surrendering to the Universe (God, Source, Divinity- what ever your word is) means to connect, to join up with your innate power of being & allow the flow to happen.

Instead of double checking, reassessing, being sure, tangling yourself up in your often erroneous belief systems you instead breathe, inhale, exhale + TRUST.

Trust what?

Trust that you are loved for being wholly and unreservedly you; trust that all unfolds as and when it should.

Trust that life is for you not against you, that it in fact conspires to unfold you to become the fullest most developed version of you.

Pressure has been ramped up, we are being asked to peel back the layers, the beliefs, the constraints & eliminate all that doesn’t truly honestly serve us. What doesn’t ‘fit’ the true you is no longer of use, no longer relevant, so love those things, situations and release them.

Its actually pretty simple ... if somewhere down deep you believe that life is hard... it will reflect that to you… or that once you have (fill in your word; money, an education, a lover etc) life will be great - so life will keep presenting those feelings of waiting and expectation.

Know that what life is reflecting to you is some version of something you believe about yourself or ‘how life should be’,  I strongly urge you to look to this and resolve it. It is truly time to love yourself fully…do the work, cry the tears, look in the mirror and embrace who you are, love your self as you are in fact loved and happily surrender to that awesome knowledge.

You no longer need to be in total control of everything and every moment, and trying to will make you feel even more off kilter, but you can in fact surrender and allow.

Now this surrendering and allowing doesn’t mean that life won’t keep throwing up issues or problems … that’s just the Universe checking that we’ve got it… That we love ourselves, and truly respect what we are and what we need. But each time something comes up to shake you around a little, stay centered and observe it, address the feelings that come up, love them and let them go… surrender and feel the freedom!

 

Respect the Shadow

 Inside all of us is our shadow side, our dark side. We have a tendency to try to ignore it, squish it, or fight it... and we are scared that if we look at it we will become it… as if it has got some weird ability to zombify us and make us do really bad things in the world.

The truth is we need to see our shadow and love it. By loving it, we are leading those aspects of us into the light. The shadow, the victim, the hurt child… it will probably will answer you with a strong “Screw you!’, but it needs your compassion … allow it its passion of hurt and fury at life. Say to pain, I am sorry, you deserve better; I am sorry you were abused, I am sorry you were abandoned, I am sorry you felt unloved.

Respect everything inside you. Love you. Honour the power of your pain… it is calling you to recognize it, to show empathy; it rises within you to be heard.

Listen to your anger, listen to your fear, listen to your sadness… until you listen you don’t know how deeply it goes within you.

Once you respect the shadow everything will change.

Try saying out loud to yourself; 

Hello insecurity, I respect your power.

Hello anger, I respect your power.

Hello shame, I respect your power.

Hello sadness, I respect your power.

Hello fear, I respect your power.

Hello anxiety, I respect your power.

Hello guilt, I respect your power.

Hello controlling behaviour, I respect your power.

Love is always the way forward. It will create a feeling of trust and peace, and remember it is a continuing, unfolding experience. Bring it all into the light of your own consciousness. Gently.

 Be kind to your selves. Diane xx

Inspired by Matt Kahn’s words.

Testing times?

The world just feels strange at the moment and I believe we are really being tested and pushed. What do you really believe? how strong is your faith, love, trust?

All in all a very intense time, and seemingly mirrored by the madness in the world around us; from the election turmoil in the US, to global warming and the refugee crisis, it all can seem so out of control.

But really what it is, is a huge encouragement to keep coming back to your self, centering and trusting grace, light, goodness… whatever you like to call it; feeling that presence of now and existing moment to moment.

So will the worry eat away my peace or will my understanding that worry only changes my quality of life prevail? At this time I finally see the advantage of aging… with a past that we can look to and understand.. why things happened.. how we repeat things we need to learn, and how eventually things do work out for the best.

Take steps forward and being gentle with yourself. Become really aware of what is challenging you and how it feels and if it is real. It is our reaction to events that create the pain or fear, not the events them selves. We are not calling this chaos to us; it is around for us to really learn who we are. I keep thinking of that saying that a diamond is just a chunk of coal that has been through massive pressure… I have decided I want to be the diamond. ;)

Perhaps, like when you are white water rafting and you fall out, you just need to keep your head above water, point your feet down stream and let the river take you… and maybe don’t read the news… especially if you are feeling vulnerable! And look for the good things in our world, the people raising their voices against inequality, inaction or greed, and know we are not alone in knowing things need to change. Even at the sparkly Oscars Leonardo Dicaprio managed to lift his voice for good, not just glamour.

 

Truly best wishes to you all.

Diane

Change.

Things are changing, new energies are about and we need to change and move with them. Like ying & yang or night & day can’t be without the other, both our internal and external aspects of life require equal amounts of love and attention.

While going within has been crucial to our development & self-understanding, we now need to be really aware of how we are showing up in this world, how we are interacting, how we are living. Waiting and believing that if you meditate hard enough or become spiritual enough suddenly life will be solved in front of our eyes just isn’t going to happen.

Both aspects of our lives are important; our meditations, quiet times & reflection and our relationships, work and the actual existing part of our existence. When life feels stagnant or frustrating it is tempting to constantly go within and reflect on what we are learning from this and /or try to work out what needs to be changed within… when the actual requirement might just be to change things externally; move, shift, shake things up & bring new energy in to your life, from the seemingly insignificant way you plan your week and / or day; to the more intense things like unhappy relationships that you constantly manage, juggle and deal with.

Routines can be great but they can also feel intensely draining like that dreary Groundhog Day repetition.

Perhaps you are not in a situation that you can, or want to sweepingly change but invite the new energy in by changing the small things that you can; drink tea instead of coffee, go for a walk instead of a meal for your date night, go to yoga instead of the gym or visa versa. Read instead of meditating… even sit in a different place on your couch! Change things.

Invite new energy, and invite new life into yours.

When we look at the physical world around us we can understand that the universe that is governed by the simple truth of circulating energy. (eg; nature with its constant process of change and cycles.)

Stagnation is our bodies way of letting us know that we need to shake things up a little… and boogie with life, instead of waiting for ‘it’ to happen. Participate in your life and it will serve you, flow with you. And remember always to love you, both inside and out.

Have a great month!   Diane xx

 

 

 

Say yes to you

Can you make this the year that you love yourself?

To accept, embrace and really love you?

Take some time to witness yourself, learn about what lights you up, what brings you down, or what bores you to sobs? And then allow it all?

Settle down quietly, with only you and listen to that inner knowing, that inner sense and allow its guidance & wholeness to fill you up.

Then, when you are annoyed or mad at yourself, connect to that inner wholeness and allow those feelings just to be felt… no need to dissect them or overly analyze them or criticize yourself ... just feel them and allow them; grief, sorrow, frustration, anything that comes up. Know that when you connect to this inner part of you, you are safe and it is ok to feel and just be with what ever is happening for you.

Also observe when you are happy, where you feel it in your body, and learn about that easy relaxed side too.

If you discover things about yourself that you want to change, then do, all the while being kind and gentle with yourself.

 

How? Whenever I hear my internal nagging or criticism start, I breathe and tell myself “I love you”. I think of how much I love my kids, or my animals and even though they may annoy me or infuriate me, I wholly and completely love them, so I have started to transfer that feeling of love to myself. Knowing that even though my cat has made it his life’s mission to slowly destroy all my furniture I still adore him and his purring, meandering ways. I allow for all the facets of him and love him still… now I am doing that for me too.

My grief at past events or relationships doesn’t mean I can’t move on ... it just means that I am human and I feel. My past fury at myself that my life hasn’t turned out as I had intended now makes me laugh and contemplate my arrogance that I thought I had the “right” way all planned out.

I no longer discount or try to suppress my ego, but realize that it too is just a facet of me, the raw and often unfiltered part that brings up all the beliefs and issues that need attention and love. It is my personality, so why would I try to squish it? For it is what makes me individual and is the version that I bring to this world at this time.

Love and enjoy all your aspects; your human-ness, your ego, your soul for all of these parts make up what is intrinsically, uniquely and wholly you.

Love of yourself is imperative, yes we can survive, as humans it is hard wired into us but for joy and happiness we need love, and as life reflects our internal world self love is truly vital.

All the best, Diane x

 

“I know not who I am,

simply that I am

forever becoming

exactly what I am

meant to be.”           Becca Lee

Christmas wishes

Christmas can be an intense time of joy, pressure, love and stress. Filled with events and people that can trigger you & push you into reaction and out of alignment.

The normal support methods of breathing & centering are all imperative right now, in assisting you to keep your equilibrium.

The most challenging thing around Christmas tends to be relationships; we are often around friends & family members that we don’t spend a great deal of time with and these can be both wonderful and/or testing. I have some suggestions to help you enjoy this period of celebration and family rather than just getting through. 

  1. Remain Present. The simple yet difficult thing of being in the now, right here, right now… not in the past reliving things, nor in the future wishing for things… but here and now.
  1. This is regarding yourself and others. Someone’s words or actions can affect us so much, triggering emotions, feeling and thoughts. Remember that the buttons that are pushed are all important; as what comes to the surface helps us to understand what we are here to resolve, and can bring greater understanding of ourselves and situations. Observe how you feel, take time & space to discover where these feelings come from and asking yourself if they are actually true or even relevant to who you are now.

“What would I have to believe is true about myself in relation to this situation in order to feel this way?” Bashar.

  1. Love You. Take time to be respectful of yourself and your needs. Even if it’s just telling yourself quietly that you love you. And remind yourself that you are loved, divinely, constantly and freely just by being you.
  1. Treat others well. Respect is a two way street, your consideration, calmness and joy can re energise situations.

“ Be the change you want to see in the world.” Gandhi

  1. We are alive and safe and have so much.

 

Wishing you and your families a truly peaceful and joyful Christmas + New Year Break. Diane xx

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