I was asked the other day to list my top 10 values… easy I said … then I started … it was a job that eventually took me days, not the minutes that I had imagined … I went through an enormous list and discovered that what really was important to me was actually different than what I first thought … yes loyalty was important but was it more important than fun??? Wasn’t love the most important??? Calmness?? Fairness, passion, strength… oh so many to chose from!!!
Once I’d spent some time ruminating and, ‘feeling’ my choices I had a final list that changed my prospective, it made me realize so much about myself and clarified for me what my motivations should really be… for work, relationships, life. I began to understand that so many of my initial list of values were in fact someone else’s; my parents, my friends growing up, my current friends, societies expectations… and the word SHOULD had echoed around my head constantly… with a little effort and some intriguing insights I came to understand what MY values are.
Now when I stumble or question what is best for me, I go back to my list and decide if what ever is happening ‘fits’ me, and my values. It has enabled me to worry less about should and more about me, it makes me feel connected and centered and less liable to make poor choices…
I have attached the list of values that I worked from… maybe it will help.
Remember that it is just your list and you don’t need to show anyone (unless you want to) … this will help free you from the concerns around being judged if your values don’t necessarily reflect others in your life… and if you have one that is not on the list - go for it!!! Also remember just like all things in life these too can be constantly changing and evolving as our understanding of ourselves, our desires and dreams become clearer and more whole.
All the very best,